


Pretend

by CherryK



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Gen, Loneliness, Mention of Character Death, Modern AU, Sad, human!Legolas, human!Thranduil, i am trash, kid!legolas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3186485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryK/pseuds/CherryK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pre dollylux's "The Start of Something" series (can be read as a stand-alone)</p>
<p>Legolas wakes up from a bad dream and goes to seek comfort from his father, who doesn't appear to be feeling great either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dollylux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollylux/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Warmest Part of the Winter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3160577) by [dollylux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollylux/pseuds/dollylux). 



> Beware, for this was written in a very short period of time, it's completely unbetaed, probably not very good, but I needed to vent and get this written down - I've completely fallen in love with dollylux's wonderful Barduil AU. This is for you, amazing author of an amazing series, may your inspiration never fade!

Legolas wakes with a start. The room around him is dark, and when the boy checks his alarm clock he realizes that he’s only been in bed for a mere two hours.

The memory of the dream he has just had is blurry now, leaving a feeling of unease tingling in his chest. He clutches his favourite plush animal – a deer – close to himself and wishes it away. Legolas finds that it does help a bit, but it’s not enough for him to go back to sleep. He reaches over to the light switch and ends up being temporarily blinded before he climbs down the ladder of his loft bed. The plush deer in his hand, he heads down the corridor to his father’s bedroom.

Legolas knows that he often stays up working on costumes or reading a book. Tonight the lights in his bedroom appear to be out already, though; no light is shining through from below the door. The boy steps closer hesitantly, lifting a hand to the door’s handle, but freezes when an unusual sound reaches his ears – it is the muffled sound of someone crying.

“A… ada?” Legolas whispers, now confused and slightly worried. He gathers the courage to finally grab the handle and pushes it down. The door doesn’t yield, it’s locked, and Legolas holds tightly onto his plush deer as he tries hard to calm down.

-

He feels cold. The blanket he has curled up under may have warmed his body, but his heart feels chilled, aching for warmth. Thranduil has gone years without love. He tries to not let it bother him, but sometimes it does, more than he likes to admit to himself. Memories of his late wife seem to spring up in the most inconvenient moments. Elien was such a whirlwind, so compassionate and fierce. Like a fire out of control her love has burned him and her untimely death has turned him to ashes, grey and dull. Only for their son does he manage to stand tall – their son, who doesn’t even remember his mother’s face. But playing pretend and seeming strong is hard without anybody to occasionally hold onto. Thranduil staggers in the dark of night, doesn’t endure any longer and cannot stop the tears from running down his pale face.

He doesn’t know if he’s ready to move on, but there’s the _longing_ , the wish to hold, to be held by _someone_ , and all he can do is cling to a pillow, pretending again. He feels pathetic like this, but hugs the pillow tighter, as if trying to fill the gaping hole in his chest, which he feels is tearing him apart. A strangled sob escapes him and he buries his face in the soft fabric. Desperately he tries to imagine soothing hands on his back, a voice that tells him that he will be alright, even if he isn’t sure whether he’d believe it. His whole body is now shaking with sobs, so he doesn’t notice the faint voice of his son from outside the door and his futile attempt to enter the room. Thranduil has locked himself in, not wanting Legolas to ever see him like this.

-

Legolas doesn’t see, but he hears. A picture of his mother crosses his mind, the one he knows his father keeps in the upper drawer of his nightstand, apparently not meant for the boy’s eyes to see. He has never talked about her openly. He always changes the subject when Legolas tries to bring it up. Ada misses her a lot, he concludes, suddenly torn between wanting to hug his father, to make the crying stop, and the fact that he has locked the door and probably doesn’t want his sympathy. The boy’s own eyes fill with tears as he turns around to return to his room. Before switching off the lights again he sends a quick prayer for somebody special to come into his father’s life, for somebody to make him smile again.

-

Morning comes and Legolas gives his father a questioning look over breakfast. Thranduil smiles at him, making believe that nothing has happened.


End file.
